Transcript

I love swimming. It’s one of the only physical activities that does not cause me pain. I feel free. I feel like I am a child again, but the actual trek to get to the pool, to take off my clothes, to put on my bathing suit, to take a shower, to go to the pool. And then realistically, I only have energy for a few minutes in the pool by that point. And it feels like a waste.

And I feel self-conscious if within half an hour I need to leave again, and take a shower again, and dry myself and take off my wet bathing suit and put on clothes again and get back out on the bus.It’s just too much for me to get there.

It’s something that actually helps me. Something that, you know, in theory is accessible. I can take a bus. But I have to get out of my flat. There are too many steps, too, too many steps to get there. And then once I get there, I feel stressed that I’m not making the most of it. So I wish I could be there and I could enjoy it with everyone else and go on with my day and not have it affect the rest of my day.

The last time I was there was years ago. And I pushed myself so hard because I was like, I haven’t been here in forever. And I was so sick afterwards. I was so sick, and I never went back. And that makes me sad.

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Dear Elaina,

I understand what you mean by ‘I feel like a child again.’ I love swimming too.

I hope your bad feeling about going the last time, and pushing yourself, will melt. You did nothing wrong. I hope maybe someday you feel like it is worth all the effort and you can enjoy it for a little while and be in the moment in the pool. Like a child.

Love from Sonja from NL